The Big Cheese/Script
*(The sun outside the house starts going down; inside the house, Dexter walks toward the bookshelf and pulls the book that opens the lab toward him; the bookshelf retracts inside the wall and slides up to reveal a metal door) *'Computer:' Password identification, please. *'Dexter:' Star Wars. *(The door opens; Dexter pulls out a clipboard and is carried over to Computer on a conveyor belt) *'Dexter:' Good evening, Computer. Put me online to this evening's agenda. *(Computer pulls up an online task list on her screen) *'Computer:' First, there's studying for your French examination tomorrow. And secondly, your schedule to break the DNA code. *'Dexter:' *putting fists on his hips* Some things are a little more important than French class, Computer! *(He turns to a DNA module, which turns on; he then is laying in a seat moving two levers that control a giant toenail clipper; Dexter is then seen watching a hamster run inside a wheel, and he speeds it up, causing the hamster to run faster; last, Dexter is seen feeding several fish some food from a test tube) *'Dexter:' Aquatic nutrification... *(Cut back to Computer's screen; everything is noted as completed, except for the first task) *'Computer:' Completed and noted, but be advised that you still haven't studied for your French test, and it's almost bedtime. *(Dexter is seen playing tic-tac-toe) *'Dexter:' *annoyed* I told you some things are more important than French class, Computer! *'Mom:' Kids! Bedtime! *(Dexter thinks of something) *'Dexter:' Hmm... Hey, who needs to study? With my genius, I can learn while I sleep. Computer, which genius invention of mine shall I use to achieve the desired effects? *'Computer:' Well, I don't know, Dexter. You're the genius. *'Dexter:' *admittedly* This is true, so, *points his finger; speaks in a demanding tone* now bring me the Subconscious Discographic Hypnotator! And don't give me no lip! *(Later, Dexter is seen going through several records; he pulls out the French record with accompanying music; Dexter blows the dusty cover and places the record inside the player) *'Pierre:' Bonjour, bonjour. Je m'appelle Pierre. *'Sophie:' And I am Sophie. *'Pierre:' We'll be your tutors for zis lesson today. We'll start with breakfast items. *'Sophie:' Cheese omelet. *'Pierre:' Omelette du fromage. *(He repeatedly says the translation; in the morning, Dexter goes into the kitchen; Mom is seen washing the dishes while Dee Dee is seen eating breakfast) *'Mom:' Morning, Dexter. *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage. *(He scratches his side and goes to sit at the table) *'Dee Dee:' Morning, poophead! *(Dexter shakes his fist in anger) *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage! Omelette du... *(He places both of his hands on his mouth; Dee Dee smiles in a funny manner) *'Dee Dee:' *teasing tone* Mmm, Dexter...? What's my name? *(Dexter shakes) *'Dexter:' *quietly* Omelette du fromage. *(Dee Dee jumps onto the table and points at Dexter's face) *'Dee Dee:' That's all you can say! *(She repeats her line in a singsong manner while kicking the plates off the table while Dexter watches to his dismay; A red-and-black swirl appears behind Dexter as it pulls back to reveal him in his French class) *'French teacher:' All right, class. I've burned the entire curriculum of the year down to one question. So, take your time and watch your *he leans toward Dexter's face* grammar, because this one really counts! *(He slams a piece of paper onto Dexter's desk; Dexter looks at the paper and thinks) *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage? *(He writes it down on his paper; the camera pulls back to reveal that Dexter passed his test; Dexter is later in his math class) *'Math teacher:' Okay now, a train traveling at 460 watts from England by the circumference of the city of Wisconsin, terminating at the air speed to ground-base ratio, what city in France would the trains collide? Uh, does anyone have any ideas on this one? *(The students all point at Dexter; he shakes hoping that he won't get chosen) *'Math teacher:' Dexter. *'Dexter:' *nervously* Eh-heh-heh... Omelette du fromage? *(The math teacher blinks twice) *'Math teacher:' Hey-hey! That's right, the city of Omelette du Fromage! *(Dexter scratches his head with one finger; the background fades to the playground; Dexter is still scratching his head) *'Dee Dee:' *singsong* That's all you can say! *(She repeats it over and over) *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage! Omelette du fromage! *(Two girls turn their heads and walk over to Dexter) *'Girl:' What did you say? *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage? *(The girls hug the boy genius as hearts fly out of them) *'Girl:' Oh, Dexter, Dexter, French is the language of love. *dreamily* Oh, say it again, Dexter... *'Dexter:' *whispering* Omelette du fromage. *(Five more girls appear behind Dexter (totalling seven) sighing; a shadow appears from the bottom of the screen) *'Bully:' Hey, Dexter! You talkin' to our girls? *'Dexter:' *worried* Omelette du fromage! Omelette du fromage. *'Bully:' Hey, whoa, slow down, buddy. I didn't know it was like that, man. *(A flash of happiness appears on Dexter's face; fade to a game show host) *'Host:' In the French language, how do you say "cheese omelet"? *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage. *'Host:' Right again! The biggest winner of all time! *(Dexter is inside a recording studio) *'Dexter:' *singing* Omelette du fromage... *(Several people pick up Dexter's records; some high school students are seen wearing yellow shirts with "Omelette du fromage" written on them; Dexter is then seen jumping over several basketball players and misses the hoop; a card with "Just dü it" is shown; three people give Dexter moneybags; a man driving a hot rod with a woman is seen pulling up to a restaurant where a waitress wearing clothing like Dexter's is shown running up to them; a newspaper with an article regarding the miracle cure is shown; Dexter is shown in a crowd wave in a city; at the United Nations, Dexter is shown addressing all parts of the world) *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage! *(The crowd cheers while people from several countries are seen shaking hands; a Times magazine is shown with Dexter on the front cover with a tagline that reads "Man of the Year"; Dexter is shown at a news conference) *'Man:' Hey, Dexter, Dexter. Can I get a saving? *'Dexter:' Omelette. *(A parade is shown; a man inside a cheese costume with a fork is shown leading the parade, followed with two women wearing costumes sitting on a frying pan float with Dexter sitting at the handle; a man inside a slab of bacon walks behind them with his arms sticking out; at home, a crowd of people is seen standing outside Dexter's home; a white limo pulls up and Dexter gets out; three pieces of French bread is shown behind Dexter; a woman gives her baby to Dexter; he kisses the infant as camera flashbulbs start flashing; Dexter, while grinning, drops the baby; inside his room, Dexter is seen standing in front of the entry to his lab) *'Computer:' Password identification. *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage. *'Computer:' Access denied. *(Dexter frowns) *'Dexter:' Omelette du... *'Computer:' Access denied. *(The main door is blocked off with a jaw-shaped door; Dexter is seen with red steam coming out of him) *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage! *'Computer:' Access denied. Be advised: Complete computer memory meltdown engaged. *(Dexter slaps his cheek) *'Computer:' All active experiments will be terminated and demolecularized. Laboratory will self-destruct in 10 seconds and counting. *(She starts counting down; Dexter shakes his arms) *'Dexter:' Omelette du fromage!! *(He starts crying; Dee Dee leans her head in from the right and continues teasing her brother) *(The laboratory explodes, leaving a huge hole in the back of the house; Dee Dee continues teasing her brother as the episode fades to black) Category:Episode transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:Season 2 transcripts